A Decision (sort of!)

Just a quick update –

I headed to the U of MN to see Dr. Bond (could there BE a cooler name than that?) on Tuesday.

Like so many of you suggested, I just explained where my head and heart were at. He started out by asking me about my symptoms, how I thought I was managing, life, etc.

He asked  how many of the ups and downs I’ve experienced in the last 2-3 months. I explained that I thought there were just 3, and that they were all very minor. Most of them had been brought on by an unexpected stressor in life as well: Anna or Greta being sick and me having to miss work around year end, day 13 at Children’s when I thought I’d need to find some way to patch together another 2+ weeks of care for Anna, etc. I had a slight low which was followed by a night where I felt fully refreshed and ready to tackle the world with just 4.5 hours of sleep.

“Just 3? That’s great news.”

Especially considering the chaos happening in our lives during the last 2-3 months.

I wasn’t expecting to hear surprise at that number. I guess the fact that I’ve been off of medication for about a year now with very minimal symptoms is a really good sign. The longer someone goes without medication/minimal symptoms, the more likely they are to continue to be stable.

4 months already!

I then explained my nursing dilemma. I told him that at some point, someone is going to need to tell me to stop – either Nate, Dr. Bond, someone – since it’s hard for me to want to stop with the status-quo when things are going really well: both with nursing and with life. He said he understood, and that he would step in if he thought it was all needed, but that at this point, it sounded like the best thing for me, Anna, and our family was for me to continue to nurse.

There was no push back from him on a definite timeline, having me defend my not-really-explainable desire to keep nursing (I just do!)… anything that I was dreading! I left the clinic with a big smile on my face and a weight off my shoulders.

I will revisit stopping nursing/starting meds at 6 months. By then there will be three other changes that might persuade me to make a change:
1. Anna will be starting on solids,
2. She may very well have a tooth and might be wanting to munch on me…
3. My training will be ramping up in preparation for the summer race season and my sub-3 quest at TCM. I have noticed that my body is refusing to shed my pregnancy-inspired squishy midsection, which I’ve been told by other elite running/nursing moms happens. One mom explained it well: “It was like my stomach always stuck out as far as my boobs while I was nursing – no matter what I did. Then I stopped, and voila! I returned to a more normal-looking self within a few months”. I’m sure there are other nursing-related body changes that also don’t allow for peak training/fast times too – my midsection is just the most visible :).

Thank you, everyone, for your thoughts on this. Truly.