Now that I’ve accepted the upcoming C-section, I’ve gone between being super excited to meet baby and thinking that I should just continue to remain pregnant FOREVER. I can keep it in, right? Baby is safe in there, I know what it’s eating/drinking, it’s quiet, and well… life hasn’t changed for us much since I became pregnant, other than having to clean out a puke bucket every night. Welcoming baby into the world can only mean chaos, sleeplessness, and constant challenges as it grows.
I warned Nate that the morning of the 15th (C-section date) that I’ll likely try to convince him we should just stay home… that I could wait another week or two… or years…
He just smiled back at me. Perhaps it’s because he is beyond tired of cleaning out my “bucket” (let’s get this pregnancy over with!), or perhaps it’s just because he is the most rational and calm person I know and doesn’t have irrational mood swings/fears. I am lucky I can count on him to get me into the car in a week and a half, walk me slowly into the hospital, hold my hand and distract me while they put the IV and spinal block in (I am SO scared of the spinal injection… I’m not good with needles to begin with, much less one that’s going into my spine… I’m almost in a cold sweat now as I write about it), and will be my voice of reason through the whole thing.
|Looking more and more like I’m smuggling a basketball under my shirt wherever I go!|
We’ll then welcome baby P into the world together.
Again, on one hand I can’t wait. I can’t wait to meet him/her. I hope it is healthy and strong. I can’t wait to see what baby looks like.
But on the other hand, I will cherish these last few days…
|A belly shot. Sorry to blind you with my paleness. But, it’s fun to see how much of an actual baby/basketball this little one is!|
On to less emotional things: today I was lucky enough to be on a panel for a Sport Performance Research Group on elite marathon training and racing. My coach is co-teaching the class, so not only was it a great opportunity to tell my story, but it was great to chat 1-1 with him.
First: the panel. I offered a very different perspective. Meghan Peyton was the other elite runner on the panel, and she has always had incredible running success: think 6x state champion, 8x D1 All-American, now a National Champion (she is so talented!). My story is one of just WANTING something crazy & doing all I could to get it. I don’t know if I truly understood how crazy my dream was when I first started dreaming of it (1:24:xx 1/2 marathoner wanting to try for an OTQ… ummm, crazy) and how dedicated & in love with the dream I was.
I hope the class found my perspective interesting. If the # of questions after my presentation is representative of their interest level, then I think I’d call my presentation a success!
There were also a lot of pregnancy questions – they couldn’t believe that I was there when I was due to deliver in a week and a half :).
The presentation also allowed me to touch base in person with Chris. The coach-athlete relationship is very important to me, and it’s been harder than I thought to move from Jerry’s coaching to Chris’. There’s a lot that goes into this, but Jerry and I had something special… both blue-collar, in a way, both believing in something crazy… plus Jerry got to know me better than I knew myself through 3+ years of crazy email updates and ramblings :). Starting over with Chris was… well, different.
Plus, it didn’t help that I became pregnant a few months after switching coaches :).
But, I digress. Seeing Chris in person and being able to talk about training schedules after delivery, potentially chasing Grandma’s and a fall marathon next year, AHHHH! It got me so excited and solidified the fact that I’ll fully trust in what he will write for me & follow it as blindly as I did with Jerry, believing in the impossible again.
I cannot wait. For baby (well…). To train and chase dreams again (well, once things heal…).
*Dream Big, Run Happy!*