You’ve probably noticed my blog has been a little quieter as of late.
Well, there’s good reason… and now, it’s likely to be updated a LOT more frequently!
On Friday, February 28th, I woke up, and knowing that we had a convention to attend in the evening with an open bar, I decided to take a pregnancy test to make sure I could have a glass of wine.
Nate and I had made a pact, and I wasn’t supposed to take a test without him there with me. But, since they had all been “no” (we have been trying for a little while), and I was pretty sure this one was going to be a “no” as well, I decided I was safe to cheat.
Except, it wasn’t a “no”… 🙂
|Mesa is so excited! As you can tell 🙂|
You can imagine my surprise (and inner thought: Oh, sh*t!… not because I wasn’t excited, but because now I was stuck knowing something I shouldn’t without him there!). I immediately called Nate at work and left a shaky message.
Do I wait for him to call back? That could be hours! Ahh! Or… I could drive to his office to tell him! So, I did: the longest 20 minute drive of my life.
I walked into his office and asked, “I was just passing through town, and wondered if I could say hi?”. Pretty sure his staff MUST have known something was odd then… I’m never just stopping by to say hi :).
I pulled him out of a patient’s procedure and told him I needed to show him something. My hands were shaking as I took the test out to show him. Needless to say, we nervously looked at each other, smiled from ear to ear, and embraced in a long, sweet, loving hug. What an awesome feeling.
|Yep, brought it with me to show him!|
“What are you doing the rest of the day?”, he asked.
“I have a workout with Craig and Jeff planned”, I replied. It was supposed to be a 10 mile progression run.
“Um… you may want to rethink that?”, which was followed by a long pause. “I think you should take it easy… maybe just tell them you’re sick?”
I drove home and got ready for my workout. Jeff was fine with me lagging behind on the faster miles (I’m not sure what he was thinking when I told him I’d only be doing 6-7 miles, and nothing very fast), and Craig thought I had totally fallen off the motivation wagon. After I told Craig I was shortening the workout, he replied, “I thought the workout was TEN!”… trying to guilt me into doing the written workout (guilt or other means of trying to motivate me to do my workouts lately was 100% welcomed and deserved). I shrugged it off.
“Yeah, just a little shorter and easier today”, I replied.
Fast forward: This weekend I drove down to Indiana with Nate and Craig to visit Sharon and pace her for a half-marathon. Originally Nate, Craig, and I were all going to pace, but I had to break the news to Sharon that her coach would have to be on the sidelines and she’d be in the guys’ hands. It was a LOT of fun, and I am proud of her for fighting through awful stomach problems and still notching a new PR. That’s 4 new PRs this year, folks, if you’re counting: mile (well, tied a PR), 3k, 5k, and now 1/2 marathon!
On the way home I started noticing a few odd symptoms. They persisted to Monday, so I called the clinic and they said I should come in just to make sure everything was okay. I scheduled for late in the day so that Nate could accompany me.
|Luckily, I had already established a relationship with an OBGYN after my ER visit this summer.|
First, I was whisked off to the lab, where they took FIVE vials of blood. Five! I am NOT good with needles or blood, but I actually took it like a champ and wasn’t even light-headed or clammy afterwards. Go, me.
Then, I found Nate (coming to the clinic after getting off from work a little early), and we went into the ultrasound room. I was under the impression that we were just checking to make sure everything was okay, since at 6 weeks, it’s about the size of a grain of rice. I was hoping we would be able to see if there were one or two little ones in there; multiples are very prevalent in my family, so I was a little worried!
But instead of a grain of rice, it was a little, squirming HUMAN!
|I swear, it looks like it’s holding a baton!|
The ultrasound tech immediately said, “Yeah, you’re definitely not just 6 weeks along… more like 10 weeks”. What?!? Nate and I looked at each other, grabbed hands, and then stared back at our moving little one. We listened to its heartbeat (185 bpm! A little on the high side, just like mom)… and most important of all, confirmed that there was just one baby in there :).
Perhaps it’s those Nutrilite vitamins, propelling the little one to astronomical growth rates? Maybe by the next ultrasound I can chop off another month off of this whole pregnancy thing! I can dream, right?
So, just like that, I’m 10 weeks pregnant. Due date is October 22nd. We couldn’t be more excited!
Or more clueless, for that matter :).
So when did this whole “family” idea even start? Good question!
Before the 2012 Trials, Nate brought up starting a family. I told him that we could start after I gave a good effort at running the standard. Once that happened, we needed to wait until after the Trials (obviously).
After the Trials, we got home and I took out my birth control from my travel bag. “Should I throw these out now?” I asked. I could tell Nate wanted to say yes, but could tell I was hesitant. I started to say something, and then burst into tears.
I was SO not ready. I had stuff I wanted to accomplish! Goals! Selfishly, I pictured my life “ending” if we started a family. Plus, I had no time for a child. What would I do with it? Drop it off at 7, and pick it up at 10 when I got home from work?
I continued to not want to have children until late last year. I’m not sure what changed in me. The urge grew stronger at the start of this year. There was one long run I remember particularly well. I came back to the house after just 1.5 miles to drop the dog off (her paws were a little cut up from the ice). I went to the door, but did NOT want to open it to continue the run. I sat down on our steps and called Nate.
I started to cry. I just want to be pregnant, Nate! I didn’t want to run. I wanted a family. I wanted to be jogging-stroller mom, library mom, etc. That was the first time that I realized how strong my desire was.
Except my body was having none of that. First of all, I was far too lean at the end of last year. Before Chicago, I was at 11% body fat. Apparently that’s not conducive to baby-making (and I actually had lost my period pre-Chicago, even while on the pill… so knew I had lost a little too much weight). The docs suggested I put on at least 10 pounds, if not 15.
Awesome! It was fun until I was heavier and still not pregnant. Then it just sucked.
Once I got my period back (and off the pill), I bled for all but 6 days of the first month. Sorry for the girl-details, guys. But I’m all about honesty here. It was terrible. Guess I deserved it; I’ve been beating up my body for a long time.
I think the in-between nature of my situation was a major cause of my lack of motivation. I had no purpose… I wanted to start a family, which meant training at a lower volume, closely monitoring intensity, and being heavier. But if I knew that getting pregnant would take a long time, then I should just go on training and try to hit the 2016 standard before conceiving.
The planner in me hated my situation!
Once we found out I was pregnant, though, a switch in me flipped. I was all of a sudden motivated again. I hinted at that here, not sure if anyone caught on :). I fell totally in love with running again. I smiled as I ran, laughed more, and didn’t feel the pressure I had been carrying the previous months.
I think part of it was that I now had a plan. Another part is that I know that the journey ahead of me will be even more epic. I’ll have 13+ months post baby to get myself into the shape of my life. Impossible? Probably :).
And if there’s one thing I love more than anything, it’s tackling something that “shouldn’t be possible” :).
So that explains my general “fluffiness” around describing workouts and my training plan. Sorry about that! Nate and I decided it was probably safest to wait until after our first doctor’s appointment to say anything, just to make sure everything looked good. So, it began… the slow march of days until we could tell…
|So true! It really didn’t feel “real”… heck, it still doesn’t! Except now I have this picture of a little human in my house… so I guess it must be??|
I’m excited to be able to log the journey here, as my goal is to remain as fit and strong as I can throughout the pregnancy. I’ll have ~13+ months post-baby to try to return to high-level competition and hopefully snag that sub-2:43. I would love nothing more than to bring our first little one to the 2016 Trials to have him/her watch me finish.
I’ll try to blog often about my experiences: what I’m able to do, what I’m not, what I have to modify, etc. I wish I could find more great women athlete blogs on the subject (wish Lauren Fleshman would have written more and been more detailed!) – there are a few I’ve found, including accounts on Saltyrunning.com. if you know of any out there, please send them my way!
Or, if there’s any other general advice, I’m all ears! Nate and I have a lot to learn!
Onward towards the next (and biggest) adventure!
~Nichole (and Mini)
PS – soliciting suggestions for a name for the little one/bump!