Get off the couch & finish the workout!
I was excited to try a hard workout by myself. Jerry mentioned earlier in this cycle that I needed to make sure I could hit some of these key workouts solo to help build confidence and mental toughness.
So I started out & imagined hitting all of my goal times & being able to email him with the great news.
I was SO wrong.
Workout supposed to be: 19 mins T, 14:15 T, 9:30 T, 4:45 T inside of a 15 mile run.
I began the first tempo segment. First mile in something like 6:13. Ug. Granted, a little more uphill and 1/2 of it right into 13 MPH winds, but still. I looked at my watch again at around 7 minutes. 6:50 pace. WHAT?!? I know I was still running straight into the wind… but something in my mind said, “this is ridiculously slow…”
And then was immediately angry at myself.
Why do I do this? Sometimes I just need to throw away the watch, I know that. It doesn’t matter how fast these are, as long as they’re hard. But something inside me is expecting to hit very fast tempo times & is very disappointed I’m not. And there’s another part of me remembers how these tempo workouts felt the last 4 weeks before Grandma’s – and I know I’m not in that portion of my training yet – but I should be closer to those times than what I’m running.
I walked for a while & then started again. Attempting the 19 min rep for the second time.
Except at 11 minutes I HAD to run off to the bathroom.
Now I was just MAD at myself. I decided to jog back to the house to see if Nate was home yet. Nope.
So I decided to lay on the couch & shut my eyes until he came home (~10 mins).
He came home, I told him about my failed attempts, as I lay curled under a blanket on the couch. He got me off the couch, told me to change into dry clothes, and he strapped on rollerskis to help push me through the workout. Together I knew we could do this. Or at least make a valiant third attempt :).
And I did! 19 minutes: 6:00, 5:59, 6:13 (wind), 5:58 pace for last .12.
Then I did the math on what I had done & was supposed to do: 12 minutes left. I decided to make it two miles. I can, I will, I told myself.
2 miles: 6:07 (wind), 5:58.
Nate is so amazing. He knows what to yell for encouragement (you can do anything for 2 minutes!) & is the reason I got myself off the couch to finish this workout. I wish I would have been able to do it solo, but all that matters is that I did it (albeit broken up & slower than I hoped).
So, need to work on my mental game. Might be a visit to Dr. Asp in the near future! I know I struggled during this portion of my Grandma’s training as well, so at least it’s not completely unexpected. I CAN and DO want this & need to throw out expectations. I also need to remember that I AM faster than I was before Grandma’s (just slightly, but that’s something to celebrate considering the increase in volume this cycle) – and focus on that vs. focusing on the gap between where I am & where I’d like to be.
I want this more than I ever have before – just have to be positive & believe in myself!!
hey nichole, i totally know how you feel! check out my workout entries from last week–had a great 8-mile tempo on wednesday and then could barely maintain the same pace for 1k repeats on saturday. jordan took my watch away! but i think the most important thing is to remember that fitness can't be reduced down to the results of one individual workout. just have confidence that every single time you head out the door, you're getting fitter. sometimes it doesn't feel that way, but it's the truth!